Monday, June 29, 2009

Motives

I find it incredibly frustrating that all the mistrust in the world, all the lies and backstabbing, has affected people so much that they can't accept favors from honest people without completely doubting their intentions. While I know that most people doubt with reason, because they've been burned before by people they trusted, it still makes me sad.

The truth is, I would consider myself a good person. Yes, I've made mistakes in my life and I have misplaced the trust of close friends. But when it comes to helping people, my motives are pure. I want to help people for the sake of helping people. I want to help people because I know how it feels to be struggling through a hard time and wishing there was someone to come along and carry part of the load with me. Yet more and more lately, I see my offerings of help greeted with cold suspicion and doubt.

A friend of mine is going through a rough time right now. We aren't very close, but I can tell that she feels alone and abandoned. So the other day, I sent her a message telling her that I didn't know what was going on, but I could tell that she was having a hard time, and that if she needed to talk about anything, I was there. That's all I said. She responded by asking,
"What have you heard, who told you? are you only kidding with me?"
I was surprised, and a little hurt. I hadn't overstepped any boundaries or made any wild accusations, yet she suspected malicious, ulterior motives. Is that how everyone sees me?

If we live our lives doubting the motives of each person who comes along trying to help, we will only be buried with whatever it is we need help with. It will completely envelope our lives, and eventually we won't be able to let it go. I understand the fear of trusting every single person who comes along, because there are some shady people out there. But sometimes we need to open up and let someone reach out, or in most cases, reach in.